Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
