real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
