Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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