alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
