I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
