I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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