There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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