when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
