2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
