He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
