She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
