She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
