I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm both gender and math confused
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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