My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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