Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
