She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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