i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
