I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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