Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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