i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
