TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
What a dumb baby whore.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
