She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
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