doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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