At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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