my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
