Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you win again, gameday.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
