woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The best revenge is premature balding
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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