another moral hangover. fuck.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize