Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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