also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
