if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I smell like Dick and happiness
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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