You're so nebulous sometimes
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
