dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize