pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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