i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize