I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
