Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
