Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
