all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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