Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
