Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
