heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
