we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
