I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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