No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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