Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
