Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
