hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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