I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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