Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Are my feet made of real feet?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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