Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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