i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize