i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
