I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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