i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
