I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Text me some of your sweat
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
