i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
