just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
