i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
