If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
