I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
