I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
