and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
